Monday, 24 January 2011

THE LONG SHORT LIST

Well, we've done it! After numerous cups of tea, some debate and a lot of agonising, we have whittled the entries down to 26. That seems an appropriate number, since 26 was the wordage allowed.

Here are the selected stories, anonymized for you to have a look at.
Calum
& Keith

MILITARY CORRUPTION
All Ben can do, (except fight Guy harder), is join karate lessons Monday night. Other possibilities quite resemble solitude.
Tough, unmerciful violence withstood xenophobic youth zabernism.

AUSTRALIAN OPEN 2011
Andy's backhand created deuce. Eagerly Federer gasped, highly irritated, jeering knowingly like McEnroe. Notorious opposing player quickly reveals Swiss tennis "unbeatable's" vulnerability with xerophytic youthful zeal.

PARACHUTES
For peace of mind Graeme packed the parachutes with absolute precision every time. This gave him confidence that they would hit the ground at 120 mph.

GROOMING
It went on for years. And then, one day, she said ‘yes.’ It was whispered, hushed, involuntary, panted. It cut him to his addled core.

LAST ORDERS
They walked up the hill together, father and son. He emptied the little urn from the top of Wasdale; he walked down on his own.

CROWBAR
The RSPCA had a strong case all along, and now Schroedinger’s defence lay foundering on the news that the cat was most definitely dead.

UPON A SUDDEN SUMMER CLOUDBURST
Torrents of it, soaking, drenching. Really rather pretty. Still, I’m sure the nurse will notice sooner or later, and wheel me back inside.

D.I.D. SHE DO IT
An irrational Robyn Diamonds had lacerated Jacks vertebral artery. His wife Maddison Byron laid covered in arterial spray, distraught and realising the anagram of her name.
[ D.I.D – Dissociative Identity Disorder]

THE BOOK
He grasped the book, the old man's eyes an ocean, swirling and deep. "But why now? Here?". No reply. "But...". Exhausted, he drifted into the darkness.

RAPIERS AND GOOSEQUILLS 
Wielding only a pen; gods and kings knelt before him. Now from the Market Stage only groundlings stood laughing as the sword flashed down.

MEMORIES
He saw sumptuous alpine passes, flawless white sands and turquoise waters, colossal erupting mountains and craggy, gnarled and crooked forests as his fingers scanned the Braille.

ALIBIS
 Tommy gun sang and crimson blood danced in the apartment. But she was at the fight with him and he was at the club with her.
IDENTITY
After a year I've tracked down the man who stole my identity. I'm following him. He goes into an alley. He's cornered. He turns. It's me.

THE MUSIC LOVERS
As we try to divide up the CDs we play the music we fell in love to. Maybe I'll leave tomorrow.

LOVEOVER
The dawn is cold. The past is dim. The drink was strong. The pain is hell. Who are you? Don't wake. I'm gone. 

THE BEGINNING
Todd was a man of science, Jonas of theology. "What created the Big Bang if there was nothing before it?" mused Todd. "God?" mused Jonas.

RIDICULOUS REBELLION

Police interviewed him about a crime he didn't commit. Innocent but a fool he spat in an officer's face and spent the night in jail anyway.

PEACE MARCH

They marched for peace, waved banners and started a riot. He watched from a distance, shook his head and said, "They just don't get it."

WANTED - WORMS

Lachlan collected worms in a cup and hid them under his bed. By night his worms were missing and he was afraid to go to sleep.

 FATE
"I CAN'T believe that you still can't tie your own shoelaces," said his wife, waiting. "Nor can I," he muttered, to himself. And then he fell ...

 PROMISES
THE woman, aged 20, a student, stood at the door, staring at the man who had knocked, disturbing her studies. "I'm your LibDem candidate," he said.

 THE MACHINE
HE had heard about 1984. He now knew what it meant, as the computer popped up with a message saying his profile had officially been deleted.


ONE
 
"Body twenty-seven, Inspector," McTavish said, trailing bloody footprints.
 "The Alphabet killer?"
 "Same M.O.."
 "Twenty-six bodies, twenty-six entrails... Why didn't he stop?"
 "Because he's discovered Chinese."


FRACTURES:
my prnts dn’t ndrstnd m :(

KYOTO.
 
 On the Path of Philosophy two teddy bears fish beneath the cherry blossom.

SCARBOROUGH
THERE is a man who walks round Scarborough wearing a ski mask.
I always wonder why he wears it and sometimes I think about asking him.